Mike & Glenda Payne
Specialist 4th ACR Vietnam 1971-1972
Here’s the letter that you asked for and I’m pleased to give. When I first came to see you I had tried many things in my life to get past the desperate feelings that I was experiencing. I tried drinking enough to soften my pain, but enough was never enough. I tried hiding, but there was no place to hide. My outlook on life was like a dark tunnel with barely a hint of light.
After a couple of sessions even though all we did was cover body pain, had not even gotten to the tough crap yet, and I had already flipped a switch. I went from being constantly under attack from triggers everywhere and under the effects of a full emotional breakdown to where I felt delighted to be triggered again because I knew the trigger didn’t have a chance.
I don’t know if you saved my life, but it sure feels like it. I am extremely sure that you saved my quality of life.
Specialist 4th How Battery
And from the wife’s perspective:
When I met my husband my nickname for him in our early years was, “the Can Do Man with a Plan.” It seemed there was nothing he couldn’t accomplish if he put his mind to it. Post 911 all of that changed. My can do man was disappearing into some place I could not follow. He nearly burned the house down one day because he left the house with a pan on the stove. He came home went right past the burning pan and passed out in the bedroom and did not awaken when the smoke alarm went off. That was my first clue that we were heading into seriously wrong territory. About two weeks later he was sitting in his bathrobe as I left for work. He was just staring at the walls unresponsive. I tried several times to contact him after arriving at work, but he would not answer his phone. I called his friends and explained the situation. They drove him to the VA ER where he was diagnosed with PTSD.
We attended the recommended classes and he implemented what he was taught. He seemed to improve and we moved on with life. Then, in the summer of 2014 I began to notice some bizarre behavior. He seemed overwhelmed by everything and unable to handle anything, which caused some ugly financial repercussions for us. I was at a loss as to how to help. We limped along this way for about six months. In January of 2014 I actually began to worry that he was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. He was emotionally erratic, thought looping on violent acts either done to him or to those he would harm in defense of himself or his family and completely unable to track in normal conversation. By February I could tell that he was in crisis. He was drinking alcohol almost from the minute his feet hit the floor in the am, not eating and not sleeping. I contacted the VA, explained what I was witnessing and was instructed that he needed to be seen within 24 hours. He was once again diagnosed with very severe PTSD.
I had been trying to encourage him to use tapping as it had helped me clear my own childhood issues, but he would have none of it. Finally, it became clear that he was not going to pull through this without help. That’s when he reached out to Marilyn. I believe working with her saved our marriage for sure. I believe it also saved his life because he was committing suicide by default. After tapping, I have my CAN DO man who is now able to engage in life again and with me in more positive ways than ever. I am grateful isn’t an adequate enough phrase to express the wealth of thankfulness I feel.